I go about getting ready for bed like normal. I turn down lights, I read and eventually I turn off all the lights and take off my glasses. I lie down, close my eyes and wait to drift off. Sleep doesn't come straight away, so let my mind drift from topic to topic. And wait. And drift. I turn over a few times. I realise I'm thirsty, but decide to ignore it because I'm lying down. I think a new thought. And drift. And wait. Eventually I realise sleep isn't coming to get me, no matter how much I lie still and dark and waiting. Two hours have passed. I get up and start writing a blog post about insomnia.
Vanilla with
I go about getting ready for bed like normal. I turn down lights, I read and eventually I turn off all the lights and take off my glasses. I lie down, close my eyes and wait to drift off. Sleep doesn't come straight away, so let my mind drift from topic to topic. As my mind drift it hits a sore spot, perhaps something that happened today that upset me. Minutes later my drifting runs me past another one, this time something I've done recently I was disappointed with. It scrapes painfully along my mind and I make a conscious effort to steer away to something more restful. But it seems I'm sailing in the shallows, for the longer I lie with my eyes shut the more thoughts occur that bump and scrape and scratch, thoughts that bring to mind my embarrassment, disappointment, hurt, shame, dejection, aloneness , upsets, injuries and remorse. When I realise what I'm thinking I try to move away to calmer things so I can sleep. But my floating mind runs into them endlessly. As time passes, they come thicker and faster. Soon all I'm doing is bumping around from one pain to another. Sleep has been scared off, and I reach a point where I need to sit up and give up, just to have a way to get the thoughts out of my mind.
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